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Big Screen Scoop: The Scoop and The Scrupulous

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Lil’ Scoops

This Wednesday in bullet points:

WE’RE REALLY DOING THIS HUH?

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As if there weren’t enough Die Hard adjacent things lately to make you fell sad, we’re apparently still going ahead with that next Die Hard kinda sequel/kinda prequel/definitely lame idea. Len Wiseman, who I suppose after Live Free Or Die Hard wasn’t so much handed the keys to the series but more took them out of the ignition while nobody was looking, has been talking about the project.

Specifically, Wiseman revealed that he and Bruce Willis had been talking about setting the film on New Year’s Eve 1979 and really trying to get a handle on who John McClane is and where he came from, as there is no way to extrapolate this by say, watching the first 15 minutes of Die Hard. Sayeth Wiseman:

“So, what created that guy? We’ve never seen the love story… when he met Holly, or when he was a beat cop in ‘78 in New York when there was no chance of him making detective. It’s always been something I’ve been thinking about, and now we’re doing it.”

So, I guess we’re doing it. To quote John McClane: this is a bad idea. To be clear, these are the Die Hard prequels I am willing to tolerate:

  • Lil Agent Johnson in Junior High, Dickhead
  • Hans Gruber Reads Time Magazine for 90 minutes
  • None

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The Fast and The Furious, the series that has no regard whatsoever for naming conventions, will be getting another installment in 2017. There is of course no real story to continue other than “family..?” and “vrooooom” and one of the key cast members is sadly no longer with us, but Fast, Fur3ous: 2 Fast 4 Consistent Titles (Tokyo Drift) makes so much money they could make a planet out of it. And they seem to make Vin Diesel happy. He seems so nice.

With that in mind, Diesel revealed the title of the film’s next entry, which was to be called Furious 8, but as per the above poster will now be called Fast 8. They should go all out for the 9th one and call it Harold and Maude.

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